I am in *Misery* / Angels in disduise

A lot of things that I wanna say

These few days I was feeling miserable. I don't know how to describe it.

I was so miserable. I read my bible and I prayed. I cried as I read Psalms. And I asked God to send people to talk to me. But I couldn't wait for someone to come to me. I was so desperate and I just clicked names on facebook chat to talk to them.

Thank God for wonderful friends. They were like ever-ready just be there for me. I just asked them to pray for me and I shared my problems with them. And after that some just came and shared to me when they saw my facebook status.

Thank you guys and girls. You all are really wonderful people. Thanks to Ming Wei, Jared, Callie-jie, xiaoJohn, Wen Ji, Jenny (you're such a sweet girl!!!), Li Khai, Jon (thanks for the sharing!) and Josh... and also everyone who remembers me in prayer. You all are angels in disguise.

It was like I don't wanna go anywhere but home. I don't really wanna go back to JB, but I wanna be at home! And I don't feel excited about what's ahead of me. I feel kinda lost. It's a feeling of uncertainty. I was so desperate and I cried out to God, and I believe He comforts me with His words and through His people.

PSM2 kinda giving me stress. I didn't do much, but I just felt sick whenever I wanna start.

And also I was kind of worried because of my family. I wanna start earning money! (Aww... always think about money, this is not a good thing)

I think I feel kinda lonely sometimes. Someone told me I need a quiet time with God. I think I have to be fixed. Something's wrong with me. I'm just like a car not going for maintenance for a long long time. Need to have spiritual check-up everyday.

I still don't really know what was that. I mean the miserable feeling.

I feel like going back to where Soneja is.

I feel like grabbing my guitar and just go somewhere and sing.

Thank You for sustaining me.You're my one and only way

Anyway a song for the angels in disguise, cuz I don't know how to express my gratitude

Angel in disguise by Corinne May

I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed and
dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

Oh~ But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
And I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

Oh~ But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Oooh~~

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new

Love? Infatuation?

Some thoughts came across my mind when I talked with my friends.

How do you know that you really like/love someone that you are ready to commit yourself into a relationship? Of course as a Christian, I'll say "Pray lah." But how do you know that you like someone? I really don't know how it feels. So fuzzy to define it.

Found this on Google search: Differences Between Love and Like

In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster

But in front of the person you like , you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring

But in front of the person you like, winter is just a beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush

But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can' t say everything on your mind

But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy

But in front of the person you like, you can show your ownself.

Then person you love comes into your mind every 2 minutes.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love

But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them

But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye

And the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like

All you need to do is cover your ears,

But if you try to close your eyes

Love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever after.

Author Unknown

Someone also told me that we should start praying for our life partner even before we have a boyfriend/girlfriend (unless you don't wanna get married). I think it's a good thing to get serious in this. Probably I'll start praying about this :D Just commit everything ahead of me to the Lord.

This song just stuck in my head. Hope you all will love it. Somebody's Me by Enrique Iglesias

Somebody's me

You, do you remember me?

Like I remember you?

Do you spend your life

Going back in your mind to that time?

Cause I, I walk the streets alone

I hate being on my own

And everyone can see that I really fell

And I'm going through hell

Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me, that somebody's me, yeah

How, how did we go wrong?

It was so good and now it's gone

And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross

And what we hide isn't lost

Cause you're always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me, oh, yeah

You will always be in my life even if I'm not in your life

Cause you're in my memory

You, will you remember me?

And before you set me free, oh, listen please

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that someday you will see

Somebody's me, that somebody's me

That somebody's me, that somebody's me

the XII of us

I was thinking I must write a post for this trip. So one day when I read this I can recall some of the memories.

Really thank God for the meaningful trip. I couldn't join in the first place but God made it possible! And part of the trip was kinda intense and tiring, but we all made it by God's grace.

All glory to God!

Also to remember the team. They are awesome people. Some of them I never met before but we got to know one another in the trip. Some of them I only smiled at them at most but now we can talk a lot. Imagine we makan and did everything (I mean almost everything) together. That's what I love about mission trip.

For all the single ladies in the trip: the ladies rock! We ate bugs, painted the walls, shared the secrets (LOL!), did shopping together... I miss those awesome time we spent together!

Also for the guys... I must say that all the guys are gentlemen. Very caring and responsible. I still remember PJ told us the guys must take the lead (something like that). I think they all did very well. You guys rock!

Even though there were times that the ideas bercanggah but I think all handled them well. ;) We are bound together by His love.

the XII of us

brothers

sisters <3

Got to write something about each of them too. Okay, ladies first. (Their identities are protected by abbreviated/modified nicknames)

PJ: Not easy to lead and guide us along yet she did it. Very independent too. She always has a lot of things to do, and she needs to take care of the needs of many people around, but I think she's doing well, cuz I can feel her concern towards me too. SO much to learn from her. And a very big thank you!

Chrissie: Very talented but she's never being proud and she can accept others' opinions. Very outgoing too. She can be really funny (LOL when I think of her). Feels very comfortable to talk to her. May not be able to see her around after this All the best! Hope to see you again!

ST: Honeypot LOL! Very friendly and outgoing and sweet girl. Kinda blur sometimes and made us laughed. Still remember she tried out the dresses she bought and all the "testimonies" from her. I think she has the gene from her mom (as a teacher). And the girls love her!

JiJi: The one who drew 3 Tiggers and 2 Poohs. I spent a lot of time with her, and witnessed her life for 3 years. She's really an encouragement to me. And we're not like those kind of blonde BFF, but friends who can share things. It's hard to find friends who has common frequency.

And now the guys.

PP: A good leader. He knows when to play, when to get serious, and he can control the situation. Too bad didn't talk a lot, but I think he's really funny. His face is like so serious and I can't tell when he's telling jokes. And he can act very well LOL. He's got the x-factor of an actor. Too bad he was sick during the trip... I mean homesick/lovesick

Alan: I knew him before the trip, and he's one of the people I feel comfortable to talk with. There are certain people whom I feel a little bit stressed to talk with. But it's fine with him. He was sick for a while and I saw him taking Strepsils from time to time (and I took one from him when I got sore throat). Thank you for the Strepsils!

Remy: Knew him before the trip too. Actually saw another side of him during this trip. He gets serious in certain times (and played around being crazy as he usually does too). He's one of the friendly people that I know. And his testimony really encourages me. Did well for the singing part too LOL. He's got the gift. Thank God for that.

Jon: I think he looks cold the first time I saw him. But I knew he's actually a friendly person before the trip (Ya he's one of the friendly people). Even though he likes to tease and kacau people sometimes but he has the side which is caring too. Actually he's a funny person. He joined to share "testimonies" with us (the girls) too LOL

KLCC: Helped out a lot through the preparation and I think he's a responsible person. Very caring too. Always asks others whether they're doing ok. Gets crazy when he drinks coffee LOL (I don't know whether that's true but that happened once when we're doing painting). But he's serious doing the serious stuff. I call it EFFICIENT. Anyway, I like his new watch

Jingles: Very cartoon. Most of the times his jokes are funny LOL. Before the trip I thought he's a quiet person (and I was wrong). Very helpful and always contribute ideas. He listens to what people says and that's very encouraging and heart-warming. And I like his slang LOL. (Can't help thinking about the dancing videos).

Josh: My buddy, also the youngest among us. We were assigned to take care of one another but I think I didn't do much for him :O I just tried to talk to him more, or looked around to check where he was. In fact he took care of the others too other than me. People said he's blur sometimes, but I think he's being smart at the right time (Learning the foreign language etc)

There's a song I want to dedicate to all of them, and those others who faithfully serve.

Thank you

I dreamed I went to Heaven, you were there with me.
We walked upon the streets of gold beside the Crystal Sea.
We heard the angels singing, then someone called your name.
You turned and saw this young man, and he was smiling as he came.
He said, "Friend you may not know me now," and then he said, "But wait -
You used to teach my Sunday School, when I was only eight.
And every week you would say a prayer before the class would start.
And one day when you said that prayer,
I asked Jesus in my heart."

Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.

Then another man stood before you, he said "Remember the time,
A missionary came to your church, His pictures made you cry.
You didn't have much money but you gave it anyway.
Jesus took that gift you gave
And that's why I'm here today"

Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.
 

One by one they came, far as your eyes could see.
Each life somehow touched by your generosity.
Little things that you had done, sacrifices that you made,
They were unnoticed on this earth
In Heaven now proclaimed.

And I know up in Heaven you're not supposed to cry
But I am almost sure there were tears in your eyes
As Jesus took your hand and you stood before the Lord
He said "My child look around you,
Great is your reward."

Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am a life that was changed.
Thank you for giving to the Lord,
I am so glad you gave.

I don't know whether I will meet them again (Since I'm not good at keeping in touch with people, and all most of us are going to different places). But we have the same final destination (not referring to the movie). So see you all around.

Thank you. And God bless~

Get it right

I had a bad habit. Once in a while I'll delete all the posts in my blog cuz wanna start afresh. Just now I was looking at my older blog posts. Actually those are really wonderful memories (even though some just seems to be some kind of crap, LOL). So, perhaps I'll just keep them in the coming days.

In GLEE there's a song "Get It Right" by Rachel (Lea Michele)... hope I spelled correctly. I don't know about you, but sometimes I have this kind of feeling, that I didn't do certain things right. Then the guilt just haunted me. Aww. But sometimes it's just the Devil playing with people's mind.

You are loved ;) Anyway gonna introduce this song -- Get It Right

What have I done? I wish I could
Away from this ship goin’ under
Just tryin’ to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it right

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
‘Cause I can’t go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I’ll get through this

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it right

So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair
Yeah, I’ll send out a wish
Yeah, I’ll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it right

Superman - Five for Fighting

Meaningful lyrics. Life is hard, but don't give up. It's not easy to be ourselves. But we got to survive

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird

I’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd

But don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed

But won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away

Away from me
It’s all right

You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy or anything

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me