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I've been thinking about my job. I mean my future career

What do I wanna do?

I'm trying to be positive. I like programing actually, but... not staring at screen for the whole day.

I wanna do something meaningful.

Wanna feel achievement in my job :/

There's nothing I can do, but in You

Today I felt, there's like nothing I can do

During lunch, I couldn't finish the noodles.

Thinking about children who starved and died, I felt sick.

So many people in need, and there's like nothing I can do.

God I wanna do something for those in need, use me to reach out to them

人長大后，梦想就好像不見了

(Dreams seem to disappear when you become a grown-up)

I watched a Taiwan movie 【六局下半】, about a cop who is raising money for his daughter to further study in foreign country, and a boy who wants to become a dancer.

One of the scenes, the daughter had this dialogue with the father. (Can't remember exactly the actual lines)

女儿：爸爸，我出国让你负担很重？
父：哪有，乱讲。那是你的梦想
女儿：爸爸，那你的梦想是什么？
父：人长大了以后，梦想就好像不见了。

Awww. Dreams.

I was feeling a bit isolated. Since I came back here, I hardly contact anyone. Sometimes I think I'm kind of like anti-social.

I think I have to expand my social network. Make more friends.

At times like this, I feel that O need God more.

A very simple song dedicated to all - Breathe by Michael W. Smith

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I, I'm desperate for you
And I, I'm lost without you

What's next?

Watched this show about a celebrity (Fann Wong) went to Thailand as a volunteer and helped the people there.

And I miss them.

The kids, the people over there.

Somehow I believe working at the office 8 hours/day and 5 days/week is not that kind of life that I want : |

Oh God, what's next?

Don't misuse that

Sometimes I think: Do I love God enough? Am I doing much enough?

Arg. Guess I'll say no. I'm not satisfied with myself.

Quite a while ago I read a blog of someone. Very encouraging. That's why I love Godly people.

Thank you for being a blessing. And thank You too, for being patient with me.

But can't misuse that.

Fighting!!!

You're an angel! Thank you

Today is my 3rd day of internship. Thank God I finally know how to get to my working place. A very kindhearted lady showed me the way, what buses to take etc. She must be an angel ❤

Well, I only have 4 colleagues here + boss. All guys. So today as I went out of toilet I found that the rest went for lunch already. The boss wasn't around and one of the guys brings his own lunch. Anyway, I don't mind having lunch alone. Seriously. It's easier than eating with strangers(?). But I think I have to socialize a bit lah. So. Yeah. But if it was me, I would wait and ask the new colleague to join me. Difference between guys and girls? But there are guys who are considerate too!!! Argggg miss my friends

Nevermind. The kind lady who helped me this morning already brighten up my day enough.

Thank you. You must be an angel

No time D:

I have no time for myself D:

Goodness. I should arrange my time well. Work can kill one. I don't even have time to watch Two and a Half Men and draw!

But I'm thankful I'm doing something that I like (so far I feel so). Programming + media (game programming includes graphic design). Thank God for the internship placement.

It's 12.24a.m. and this should be early for me, but I really tak boleh tahan.

Good night. (Still trying to install Microsoft Visual Studio 2008)

Hoping...

I'm starting my internship tomorrow.

Hope I'll still have time to blog.

Bye baby

My dear TGM baby,

Bye baby. I didn't really bought you but we've been together for so long. Around 2 years plus. Now I'm giving you away. I've been thinking about it. I know even though we have Hofma and Yamaha F310 at home, I'll still stick to you. But now we have extra, and I should bless people with what I have. So even though I love you very much and wanna bring you back, I still decided to leave you here. Dear babe, I won't forget you. You're not the first guitar I played, but you're my first one! You're considered as mine. But we have to move on.

God bless those who are going to use you.

Half of the year is gone

Yea. Read the title.

It's already 2nd July.

And also, I'm going back to JB for internship and so on. Arg. I start thinking whether I can get used to my old church. Last time I couldn't get used to CCC's service cuz the service is shorter. Now I'm already used to it :O Also GPS is bilingual punya.

Perhaps my English speaking will be like so GG. I don't mean I speak so well now. But it is more fluent than before.

And I wanna make some short term goals (for July - December 2011):
1. To learn something during this internship and make an impact for God in my company (even though it's only 6 months)
2. Seek God about my future. I wanna flow with His plan, not mine.
3. Commit myself in my relationship with God, to be closer to Him. Consistency of prayers, devotion and reading of His words.
4. Play guitar better ( I don't really know how to set a goal for this. I mean, to describe it technically or physically?) - watch some Youtube videos, practice more etc
5. Learn cooking and do household chores
6. Exercise!!! With consistency
7. Keep in touch with Malacca friends (This is important)... I wanna visit my sis and other friends in KL at least once before end of the year! Also wanna visit friends in Singapore!
8. This one is kinda optional. I hope I can learn a media programming software. eg Blender or Synfig.

Aww... have to pray. And pray harder

p/s: Anyway... I added two more

9. Have a good financial planning! Got debts to pay!
10. To be caring! We need a heart-warming community :)

Love you all (I don't know who's reading this anyway xp). Good night

Scissor + Paper + Marker: Bye bye & Durian love!

(I'm too lazy to change the blog address in the pictures from cin-yi to cinyi...)

All the best!

 For all my friends... either we are going for internship or really gonna work dy... All the best! I'll miss you all! May God pour out His blessings on His people!

Durian = thorny? Duri = Thorn

I likee durian. Very heaty though. Once a while only I eat durian. Anyway I think durian is amazing. It has thorns, but the flesh are so softy and so nicee~ And the fragrance even stays for a long time in your digestive system LOL. It's like TRUE LOVE! You'll see the inside of someone, not the outside :) Ahh someday we'll find our durian, and people who loves us as the durian lover~ Anyway I won't unfriend those who don't eat durian ;)

Should be Duricious :X

You changed me (and still changing me now)!

When I was much more younger, I was a very depressed kid. I used to think I was kind of useless and didn't feel loved. I was afraid of how people looked at me, maybe they talked at my back or what. But actually at that time I had friends at school, I was considered as one of the top students too. My family was also doing fine.

When I was 11, I started to go church with my family. Through going to church, I got to know Jesus more. And I learned that Jesus loves me. So it doesn't matter how people look at me, but God just loves us for who we are. And everyone has his/her strengths (and of course weaknesses), so no one is useless, or better or worse than someone else.

I got to learn a lot of things. But the most important thing is that I learn to love myself, people around me, and also love God back.

Thank God for everything! Just like the drawing: Everyone can be AWESOME! You are loved!

Just wanna share about what made a change in my life. I hope you already know your AWESOMENESS :D

Harp of David

Last night around 2 a.m.

I went down to the pondok downstairs, with my TGM. and had a little quiet time with God

Sang some songs, read Psalms

Thought of a story in bible which is about David played harp for King Saul

Sometimes I thought, is David a skillful player? Maybe. But what brings the presence of God is the life of David

So I unzipped the case, took the guitar and played.

I am never a skillful player. But as I played, and it was only simple progression, G and C, I felt God touched my heart, and my tears just flowed out.

I don't care what people thinks. Also stuff that I posted on facebook. Maybe some thinks that I wanna get attention or whatever. I don't care. I'm fine with You.

Thank You again

I am in *Misery* / Angels in disduise

A lot of things that I wanna say

These few days I was feeling miserable. I don't know how to describe it.

I was so miserable. I read my bible and I prayed. I cried as I read Psalms. And I asked God to send people to talk to me. But I couldn't wait for someone to come to me. I was so desperate and I just clicked names on facebook chat to talk to them.

Thank God for wonderful friends. They were like ever-ready just be there for me. I just asked them to pray for me and I shared my problems with them. And after that some just came and shared to me when they saw my facebook status.

Thank you guys and girls. You all are really wonderful people. Thanks to Ming Wei, Jared, Callie-jie, xiaoJohn, Wen Ji, Jenny (you're such a sweet girl!!!), Li Khai, Jon (thanks for the sharing!) and Josh... and also everyone who remembers me in prayer. You all are angels in disguise.

It was like I don't wanna go anywhere but home. I don't really wanna go back to JB, but I wanna be at home! And I don't feel excited about what's ahead of me. I feel kinda lost. It's a feeling of uncertainty. I was so desperate and I cried out to God, and I believe He comforts me with His words and through His people.

PSM2 kinda giving me stress. I didn't do much, but I just felt sick whenever I wanna start.

And also I was kind of worried because of my family. I wanna start earning money! (Aww... always think about money, this is not a good thing)

I think I feel kinda lonely sometimes. Someone told me I need a quiet time with God. I think I have to be fixed. Something's wrong with me. I'm just like a car not going for maintenance for a long long time. Need to have spiritual check-up everyday.

I still don't really know what was that. I mean the miserable feeling.

I feel like going back to where Soneja is.

I feel like grabbing my guitar and just go somewhere and sing.

Thank You for sustaining me.You're my one and only way

Anyway a song for the angels in disguise, cuz I don't know how to express my gratitude

Angel in disguise by Corinne May

I woke up this morning feeling kind of blue
and I stumbled out of bed and
dragged my feet across the room
Right outside my front door was a rose
and a note that said 'Somebody Loves You'

Oh~ But out on the street it starts to pour
and before I get soaking wet,
A total stranger runs to give me
the jacket off his back
I turn around to thank him
But he waves me with a smile
And I can hardly believe my eyes
He puts on a halo and starts to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

I met a good friend for lunch
and we had a delicious meal
But I forgot to bring my wallet
I felt like an imbecile
But she was sweet, she gave me a treat and
Bought me a chicken sandwich
To take home for tea

Oh~ But out on the street with nothing to eat
A man and his shopping cart go
Travelling to places
Collecting social graces
I give him my sandwich
and we chatter for a while
I see a rainbow wash over his eyes
He gives me his halo and
I start to fly

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise

Don't try to hide away from me
I know you're by my side

Oooh~~

Take a look at the ordinary
Don't need to look for Paradise
You could be next to
an angel in disguise
Everyday can be legendary
Every minute, an endless surprise
You could be the next angel in disguise

I woke up this morning
Feeling kind of new

Love? Infatuation?

Some thoughts came across my mind when I talked with my friends.

How do you know that you really like/love someone that you are ready to commit yourself into a relationship? Of course as a Christian, I'll say "Pray lah." But how do you know that you like someone? I really don't know how it feels. So fuzzy to define it.

Found this on Google search: Differences Between Love and Like

In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster

But in front of the person you like , you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring

But in front of the person you like, winter is just a beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush

But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can' t say everything on your mind

But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy

But in front of the person you like, you can show your ownself.

Then person you love comes into your mind every 2 minutes.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love

But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them

But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye

And the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like

All you need to do is cover your ears,

But if you try to close your eyes

Love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever after.

Author Unknown

Someone also told me that we should start praying for our life partner even before we have a boyfriend/girlfriend (unless you don't wanna get married). I think it's a good thing to get serious in this. Probably I'll start praying about this :D Just commit everything ahead of me to the Lord.

This song just stuck in my head. Hope you all will love it. Somebody's Me by Enrique Iglesias

Somebody's me

You, do you remember me?

Like I remember you?

Do you spend your life

Going back in your mind to that time?

Cause I, I walk the streets alone

I hate being on my own

And everyone can see that I really fell

And I'm going through hell

Thinking about you with somebody else

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me, that somebody's me, yeah

How, how did we go wrong?

It was so good and now it's gone

And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross

And what we hide isn't lost

Cause you're always right here in my thoughts

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that one day you will see

That somebody's me, oh, yeah

You will always be in my life even if I'm not in your life

Cause you're in my memory

You, will you remember me?

And before you set me free, oh, listen please

Somebody wants you, somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely

Somebody hopes that someday you will see

Somebody's me, that somebody's me

That somebody's me, that somebody's me

Get it right

I had a bad habit. Once in a while I'll delete all the posts in my blog cuz wanna start afresh. Just now I was looking at my older blog posts. Actually those are really wonderful memories (even though some just seems to be some kind of crap, LOL). So, perhaps I'll just keep them in the coming days.

In GLEE there's a song "Get It Right" by Rachel (Lea Michele)... hope I spelled correctly. I don't know about you, but sometimes I have this kind of feeling, that I didn't do certain things right. Then the guilt just haunted me. Aww. But sometimes it's just the Devil playing with people's mind.

You are loved ;) Anyway gonna introduce this song -- Get It Right

What have I done? I wish I could
Away from this ship goin’ under
Just tryin’ to help, hurt everyone
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it right

Can I start again with my faith shaken?
‘Cause I can’t go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I’ll get through this

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it right

So I throw up my fist
I will punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair
Yeah, I’ll send out a wish
Yeah, I’ll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
‘Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it right

My recent photos

Was looking at my blog and thinking that I haven't update it since long time ago...

And since I was checking some of the photos taken by my W910, I decided to share some of them with anyone (if any) who read this.

Some kind of plant growing in front of my rented house (anyway, I already shifted out)... Now it is really big

 "Never say never!" I'm not a belieber, just a random photo

Squirrel and Sea-Cucumber

This is a long story. These are my parents' friends' children's hamsters... They further study somewhere else and no one can take care of them. So... we adopt them!!!

I don't really love hamsters... but when I'm surfing on internet at night (or dawn), they always play with the hamster wheel (which is like a treadmill for us the human beings) and make noise... feels like a companion.

Anyway, I call them (not named) squirrel and sea cucumber (in Mandarin). Well, you can hardly see sea cucumber in the photos... And they got awesome toy -- hamster ball!!! The previous hamster didn't own a hamster ball  DX

Why not purple sky? (Photo taken from the back of my house)

Black out in Bukit Beruang

When I'm really free...

Just some of  my recent photos =)

Anyway I'm leaving for Cambodia and Vietnam soon! *wink* But starting my internship very soon after that. All the best everyone!

Ethic!

So long didn't post dy...

Hmm hmm... Today is another boring Saturday. Some of my housemates went back hometown, some went out "pak toh", and the rest (I'm one of the rest) just stay at home.

And we are hanging out at McDonald now. Arg. Must find something to do for Saturdays... (Actually I've got things to do... projects and assignments '.'||| )

Read this news from Sinchew that this girl from primary school was hit-and-run by a car. Just hope that she'll be fine. By the way I don't understand how they got to take her injured picture and put it on the news. I think it's not so nice

Ethic...

I'll follow

I just feel that I have to start it all again.

To learn how to be obedient.

In Deuteronomy 6:5 it says "And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might."

Sometimes I imagine, if I meet with God right now, what would I say? If He asks me, "Do you love me?", what would I say?

I was thinking... I didn't dare to say "I do love you" because from what I've been doing, I'm not fulfilling my responsibilities. It's very depressing. But I know God knows the hearts of men. I would shout "I want to!"

We see people walk away from God and it's very sad thing to see. But I believe those who really knows God and His love will not leave Him.

So please give me the strength to be anew. Help me to really offer my life as a living sacrifice that pleases You.

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart

I will follow
I will follow
I will follow You

It's been...

It's been a long long time since I last updated my blog

Sigh. Busy with a lot of stuff lately. Assignments, campus ministry... and I'm tired (as in spiritually). Always sleepy somemore. But last night I found that actually I can complete my work (assignments) quite fast, just that I keep on delaying everytime.

Yawn

Got to be more hardworking